Whittling

John, James, and Nick at the Bat Exit of Carlsbad Caverns, NM

It occurred to me to today, as I moved some photos from my phone to the comp, that the pictures of my kids are numbering fewer subjects as time goes on.  Ashleigh is no longer a major factor in our pictures.  In the not too distant future, the pictures will almost exclusively be of just James and Nick.  Then not long after that, they will comprise mostly of Nick only.  I imagine when that time comes, Steven and Nick will be in the pics more together, so that Nick doesn't look so lonely.  All of this sounds like I am sad that my house in emptying.  And that, I am sure, must factor in.  However, that is the smallest fraction.  I am truly sad for Nickolas.  He has never known a quiet house.  He came in, last of four, to a fully functioning raucous, joyfully full home.  And when it is his time to strike out on his own, he won't have anyone to say goodbye to; the last of his goodbye's will have been said two years earlier.  I pray for him. I pray that he finds joy even in the quiet-- satisfaction in the stillness.  He loves people so much.  Perhaps he will find a way to serve, during those quiet years, outside the home as he has always served within our home.